Pebbles was our adored Jack Russell who died unexpectly earlier this year. She was an enthusiastic and wholehearted little being who came with a tiny design flaw. A weak bladder. This meant that too much excitement, or being shouted at, led to a small, but unwelcome puddle. For some reason I was thinking about an incident a few years ago when a client returned Pebble’s exuberant greeting by picking her up. Suffice it to say, instead of a cuddle, she got a puddle! It took a while to dry the client off and I must say, the whole thing was very awkward.
However over the years, through her love of praise, Pebbles learned that it was okay to chew her toys, the cardboard from an empty toilet roll, and my husband Kevin; but it was not okay to chew her blanket, to empty the toilet roll in order to chew the cardboard, or to chew guests or me. Once she got the hang of it, all was good in the world!
Hopefully, we all know the delicious feeling of being praised? Well, recently I’ve been in a rather lovely patch with people saying all sorts of good things about me. In the midst of basking in the glow of this praise, I started wondering what I’m willing to do for the love of praise? Praise is slightly addictive and leaves you wanting more and like many things, too much of it, is not necessarily a good thing.
Keeping our motivation clearly in mind in essential. The problem with wanting to be liked arises if you start convincing yourself that doing things you don’t want to or don’t feel comfortable doing are the way to get your needs met. Unfortunately, it’s not clear cut. There are times and situations where flexibility and compromise, or stretching out of your comfort zone is a healthy and mature choice to make. This is something we each have to examine for ourselves, it’s up to us to know if we are crossing the line.
One way to do this, is to check what kind of a heart you have when you do what you do. An angry, frightened or insecure heart can indicate that the choices you are making are not in your best interests. If your heart is loving and open, chances are, it’s a healthy choice, so go on, get out there and get that applause!