Every now and then, usually right after saying or doing the most stupid or embarrassing thing imaginable, there is a moment of unreality when the world stops and you feel that what is happening cannot possibly be happening? In moments like this, most of us need something we can trust.
It is something I have spent most of my adult life trying to figure out and maybe now is a good time to give you a heads up, it is not a question I will be answering in the 400 words of this blog post. I’m just saying!
As most of us with any sort of life experience know, doubt has a way of derailing even the staunches of our faiths. What interests me in coaching, is how so many of the people I work with, have either lost faith in themselves, or never had it in the first place.
Trust is earned and sadly, most of us have let ourselves down so often that even when we know we can do something, we don’t always believe we will. Reversing that process is such a powerful part of coaching, one that takes much more than just words. Think smarmy salesman saying trust me, well, that ain’t how it happens.
Trust and honourability go together. Building trust in yourself starts by honouring your word, fulfilling the commitments you have made. It requires taking responsibility for your mistakes and manning up to face the consequences. It is about speaking up when you don’t like something and risking offending someone you want desperately to like you. It is learning to say no when you need to set a boundary, and resisting temptation when you are on a diet or cutting back on alcohol or TV.
Cultivating a longer term perspective of our life is a way of rebuilding trust. As you sip your tea, think of the soil, rain, sunshine, breeze, and many hands involved in picking and packaging the teabag. Think of the truck drivers and store owners, organisations, banks and numerous people involved in the simple enjoyment of a sip of your tea. It is that feeling of being part of something so much greater than ourselves that gives us courage to be greater than we are.